Wishing a warm welcome to our next guest on the blog ~ flower lover and Cymbidium cheerleader ~ Susan Gorman!
Susan touched our hearts with this thoughtful dedication:
"To the best lovers I know -- Happy Valentines' Day! I’m reprising this piece and am sending it along with a shout out to YOU. You have showed up as examples of full-hearted grace in my life and I adore you madly. When I think of who are the most loving, kindest people that I know, you go to the top of the list. So grateful for you. xoxoxoxo"
Valentine's Day Was Always Mine
"Today it is six months and six days since my husband died.
It’s also Valentine’s Day.
I’ve had a truly lovely day today. But then again, I always do.
Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday and has been for as long as I can remember. I’ve been in love with Valentine’s Day ever since grade school when my classmates and I were initiated into the ritual of bringing tacky, store-bought cards to school taped onto little boxes filled with stale, sugary hearts. Entreating me to love.
I embraced it with a passion like the heat of a thousand stars.
Throughout childhood, this holiday made me too delirious to notice anything forced or contrived or corny about it. I have grown wiser, obviously, I mean, I don’t get up and leave the room anymore when someone starts bagging on Valentine’s Day as if they were the world’s coolest hipster. No, I have actually matured into a more forgiving person. If someone can’t embrace Valentine’s Day shmaltz for what it is, that’s okay. Nobody’s perfect.
When people find out how much I adore this holiday, after a weighty pause, they will often launch heartily into a treatise about how much they hate it. Mostly because of how contrived and commercial it is. Others relish pointing out the irony of VDay’s history as a celebration of martyrdom, and how it’s been twisted upside down in a way that is especially perverse given how tortured we can feel about love generally. In love, out of love, the zeitgeist is that Love Hurts so tone it down a bit people. Sometimes they suggest to me that Valentine’s Day reinforces an immature and illusory image of love and (almost gaggingly said here) romance, that is fleeting anyway and hostage-taking and basically just a load of crap.
Single people hate it because it reminds them of their singleness. Married people hate it if the romance is gone from their partnerships. The broken-hearted hate it because it reminds them of how broken and lonely they feel.
I get a lot of side-eye this time of year.
And it follows, by implication, that I am suddenly not so trustworthy anymore. Folks lean back and re-appraise me in a way that reveals they’re on guard around me now. They’re gonna be taking some space, dialing it back on their formerly open regard for me. Like maybe when I’d declared, with broad friendliness, “Oh I love Valentine’s Day, it’s my favorite holiday!”, they’d heard instead, “Oh I wear a tin hat to bed most nights, it’s the best way to receive the alien transmissions!”.
Now everything else I’ve ever said needs to be reviewed for lunacy.
They’re surprised. Taken aback by the fact that I may have been just the tiniest bit deranged all along, and they’d totally missed it.
People used to wonder about my husband in all this. How the hell could he win with me? He’d have more success throwing himself into oncoming traffic than to try and impress me romantically. A woman who lovesValentine’s Day? The holiday that sends legions of men to the mall after work on February 13th, with that deer-in-the-headlights-what-the-hell-does-she-mean-by-oh-just-get-me-something-from-the-heart glazed look in their eyes?
But they had it all wrong. He was the luckiest man in the world. I was already happy, so anything he did was gravy. 13 and 15 as well, hopefully know that all I want from them for Valentine’s Day is a home made card and a hug, because really, it’s my day to have fun spoiling them with stuff. Usually with a lot of candy.
When was the last time you spent time with someone who is happy, as-is? There’s a wide-open peace that comes along and nestles in our hearts when we’re around people like that. It’s freeing. I want to give that to my kids. And to everyone.
Stop retching for a second and listen: Valentine’s Day is my day to just be in love with love. If you get in the way I’m sorry but I cannot be held responsible if it gets all over you.
There’s also this: Valentine’s Day, aesthetically, really smokes my shorts. It has all my favorite colors. It has hearts. It has lace, it has flowers, it has cards, in which people are supposed to write down how and why they love each other. Veryimportantly, it has chocolate, which as you know is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. All these tokens serve the sweet, unadorned, socially sanctioned expression of love in all its forms. The simple appreciation of love and loveliness.
And depending on the kind of love you’re in, all of those tokens can be expressed very neutrally and platonically, or teased into a sensual feast that is quite delicious. For example, you may not have noticed but lace can incarnate as a paper doily. Or as lingerie.
I mean, really, what is not to love about this day???..."
Continue reading on Susan's blog:
Susan Gorman is an Intuitive who has read for people around the globe for 30 years. Passionate about pulling intuition out of the margins, she sees clients in her private practice in New England and San Diego, and teaches a variety of workshops on Intuitive Development and her Intuitive Meditation method. She is working on her first book.
Visit www.susangorman.net, where you can find out more about Susan and her work, and sign up to get installments delivered straight to your inbox. Fun!